Paternal Authority

This subject has been one of particular importance to me over the years, as I was raised in an intensely patriarchal system, with my father believing himself to be the supreme authority over both his children and wife.

With this authority, my father would be quick to say that the ultimate authority is God. This sounds well except what he really taught is that anytime a child goes against the father, whether in deed, word, or faith, such "rebellion" is equally against God, as God placed him in charge. That, whatever age, outside of marriage (where authority is transferred to the husband), the "child" should be answerable to the father.

But to what extent is such authority Biblical? Is the child, once grown, still required to remain under this authority? As a Christian, am I answerable to both God and my father, or God alone? Is a woman "more" required than a man to remain under a father's authority? Does "disobedience" include "disagreement"? Should obedience include the stifling of one's individual beliefs and thoughts? Is disobedience to an earthly father equal to that of the heavenly Father?

These are some of the questions I found myself facing several years ago. Not trusting myself or my father, I desperately sought answers from the Bible, pleading with God that the Holy Spirit might show me what the Scriptures actually say, beyond all my preconceived notions. I felt I had to be absolutely sure, because on it hung the answer to life changing decisions I had to make- namely, regarding leaving the home of my family, and thereby the authority of my father.


In time, with study, my prayers were heard. Things, verses, started popping out at me as though I'd never seen them before. Frankly, I was shocked at some of the things I read! They seemed so contrary to what I'd been taught. But in the end, the Truth became clear, and the convictions which were formed have only grown stronger since.

For the sake of others who might be pondering similar questions, I'd like to share some of the key verses which stood out to me. These are only a few though! If you're interested in a list with more (whether opposing or defending), feel free to leave a comment.

I'll start with some verses which were most often used to teach my siblings and I about authority:

   1.  "...Rebellion is as the sin of witchcraft..." (1 Sam. 15:23)

At first glance, it seems like a really strong case for authority- regardless of age, gender, or maturity. However, for it to be applied to parental authority, you must read the verse like this- "rebellion [against parents/father] is as the sin of witchcraft". And we are strictly instructed not to add to the Word of God. Hence, to determine which authority rebellion against is so wicked, the context must be considered

In this case, the context is King Saul's rebellion against God. God told him to "utterly destroy ALL" of Amalek. But Saul spared King Agag, and the best of the animals. Because Saul rejected the word of God, God took the kingdom of Israel away from him, eventually giving it to David. The source of authority here then, is the Lord God Himself. Not parents.

   2.  "Children obey your parents in the Lord: for this is right. Honour thy father and mother; (which is the first commandment with promise;) That it may be well with thee, and thou mayest live long on the earth" (Eph. 6:1-3)

There is no doubt that children can and should be under the authority of their parents (in cases where there are parents who would fulfill their role). It is a natural system laid out by God to promote the safety, education, growth, and well-being of the child. Obedience should be required- not because of a selfish desire for control, but because of love and concern for the child's well-being.

It could be argued that the word "children" in this verse means "offspring", rather than youth. True examples of this can be found in verses such as 1 John 2:1 "My little children, these things write I unto you..." where John is addressing spiritual offspring, or Joshua 22:24 "In time to come your children might speak unto our children".

But in the context of Ephesians 6:1-3, Paul is laying out instructions regarding specific roles- of wives, husbands, children, servants, etc. If the meaning of "children" in verse 1 was not clear enough, it is established in verse 4- "...but bring them up in the nurture and admonition of the Lord". You don't "bring up" an adult! Thus, these verses do not require obedience of an adult offspring.

   3.  Numbers 30

This chapter is especially used in defense for women remaining under paternal authority. The claim is that, as a father is given the ability to disannul a vow which a woman has made, her place should be under his authority.

Context, again, is vital. In this chapter, standards are laid regarding vows. Concerning the father's ability to disannul his daughter's vow, two "conditions" are given- "being in her father's house", and "yet in her youth". It is not an example of absolute authority over her until marriage.  Furthermore, as part of the Old Testament Law, this is something we are no longer under, being free in Christ.

But what are the arguments for an adult (particularly a Christian) being at liberty to be outside of parental authority?

For starters- look at a list of the books of the Bible. How many of them are names? These were individuals, used separately from their families. Throughout the entire Bible, examples are given of how God worked through individuals to achieve his purpose.

Abraham- Moses- Jeremiah- Isaiah- Esther- Ruth- Ezekiel- the list goes on. As a Christian, God is the authority. We are responsible directly to Him. Because of the blood shed by the Lord Jesus Christ, we do not need a mediator. We do not have to go through a priest, pastor, bishop, father, or anyone else to get to reach God. The Christian walk is meant to between himself and God. There is nothing more personal or individual.

Take the example of Ruth- Boaz blessed her for leaving her family (Ruth 2). "Oh, but she left to follow after God, because her family was heathen"....Aha! Individual. The authority of her father, an older brother, or other person was not necessary. Her accountability was towards God.

Fast forward to some verses in the New Testament-

     " And he said unto another, Follow me. But he said, Lord, suffer me first to go and bury my father. Jesus said unto him, Let the dead bury their dead: but go thou and preach the kingdom of God. And another also said, Lord, I will follow thee; but let me first go bid them farewell, which are at home at my house. And Jesus said unto him, No man, having put his hand to the plough, and looking back, is fit for the kingdom of God." - Luke 9:59-62 

     "Then Peter began to say unto him, Lo, we have left all, and have followed thee. And Jesus answered and said, Verily I say unto you, There is no man that hath left house, or brethren, or sisters, or father, or mother, or wife, or children, or lands, for my sake, and the gospel's,  But he shall receive an hundredfold now in this time, houses, and brethren, and sisters, and mothers, and children, and lands, with persecutions; and in the world to come eternal life. But many that are first shall be last; and the last first."  -Mark 10:28-31

What???!!! Clearly, an individual is not required to remain under paternal authority.

Again, one could argue that these verses are specifically about men- not women. But the entire Bible is in masculine form- does that mean that all verses that say "he" or "him" are not applicable to women?

Nevertheless, there is further "evidence" regarding a woman in particular-

     " There is difference also between a wife and a virgin. The unmarried woman careth for the things of the Lord, that she may be holy both in body and in spirit: but she that is married careth for the things of the world, how she may please her husband." - 1 Corinthians 7:34

If God intended a woman to remain under earthly authority until marriage, this passage would have been the perfect opportunity to clarify. Instead, it emphasizes an especial benefit of being unmarried- caring for the things of the Lord, free to serve Him without the practical responsibilities of wife or motherhood.

Although in some cases the Lord's purpose might be for the unmarried woman to serve Him by serving her family, nowhere in the Bible is His purpose restricted to this. Nowhere does it specifically require the unmarried woman to remain under paternal authority.

To conclude, while there certainly is a place for earthly authority (whether as a child, wife, employee, citizen), as a Christian, the ultimate authority is God alone. And it is to Him, not our earthly fathers, that we are accountable to.