Nothing But the Blood

A Testimony

Growing up, I was the oldest child in a large family. We were raised in a conservative, but isolated Christian home. My father was a retired Southern Baptist pastor, with a strong tendency towards Calvinism and a works-based faith. As a young child, I was aware of the fact that I was not good enough to make it to Heaven on my own, but did not know how to be saved. At times I would be really worried what might happen to me if I died without being saved.

During one of these periods, when I was 7 or 8 years old, I was especially worried, and determined in my heart to be saved. I can't remember exactly what I said, or even if I got on my knees. My prayer was child-like, but sincere. Something to the effect of "God, please save me, I know I'm not good enough, but I want to go to Heaven when I die."

But...nothing happened. Or so it seemed. In my mind, the way I pictured salvation was some ethereal, life-changing, and joyous experience. Accompanied with this overwhelming conviction of sin, resulting faith in God, and a dramatic, obvious change in the new Christian's life. But none of this happened to me. I felt gutted. Disappointed. And with no more assurance that I was saved than before my prayer.

Looking back on it now, I believe I did actually become saved with that prayer, even without knowing it. But at the time, it left me disillusioned and confused. More, it triggered a subconscious "mission" within me where I sought to prove to myself through works that I was saved. This continued into my early and mid-teens.

Throughout my childhood, my dad had a major influence on my approach to spiritual matters. I looked up to him, and trusted his teachings implicitly, and thought that if I would only live as closely as I could to what he taught, I would be a "good Christian". So, to the best of my ability, I did this. To the outward appearance, you could say I succeeded, especially as I reached my mid-teens. I was a "good kid", hard worker, had a (relatively) successful blog about "Christian life", and was very active about sharing what I knew of the Gospel. 

The trouble was, the more I did, the more I looked like a "good Christian", the worse I felt inside (aside from the superficial self-righteousness/ego boost the attention engendered). The sense of bondage was tremendous, like with Christian in Pilgrim's Progress. Something was not right, and I knew it. I still feared that I was either not saved or could lose my salvation by not "living right". I constantly felt like I was failing, or not doing enough, and felt guilty over these failures. I'd even feel guilty over having a headache or physical ailment because I couldn't "rebuke it in Jesus' name" and make it go away, like Dad taught we should do. I sought peace, assurance, understanding....and instead found confusion, darkness, and inner turmoil. 

Between 17 and 18, things came to a head. In my desperation, I began reading the Bible more seriously, and, for the first time, deliberately praying that the Holy Spirit would speak to me through the Word, showing me what it meant. And this time, I got a more direct answer to my prayer. I started seeing many things in the Bible that I'd never noticed before, and all of a sudden things were becoming clearer. With some additional guidance from a couple new friends, I finally came to an understanding of how salvation works. And how I'd gotten it wrong. 

I realized that salvation had nothing to do with anything I had done or could do, besides believing on the Lord Jesus Christ. Nothing. It didn't matter how much "good" I had done, or how much evil, because in the sight of God,  "All have sinned and come short of the glory of God" (Romans 5:12), and it is ONLY by placing one's faith in what the Lord Jesus Christ has already done on the cross that we can be saved. Because, through the shedding of His innocent blood, He paid for my sin, that I might be cleansed:

For there is not a just man upon earth, that doeth good, and sinneth not. 

- Ecclesiastes 7:20

But we are all as an unclean thing, and all our righteousnesses are as filthy rags... 

- Isaiah 64:6

He that believeth on the Son hath everlasting life: and he that believeth not the Son shall not see life; but the wrath of God abideth on him.  

- John 3:36

For whosoever shall call upon the name of the Lord shall be saved. 

 - Romans 10:13  

Verily, verily, I say unto you, He that heareth my word, and believeth on him that sent me, hath everlasting life, and shall not come into condemnation; but is passed from death unto life. - John 5:24

That if thou shalt confess with thy mouth the Lord Jesus and shalt believe in thine heart that God hath raised him from the dead, thou shalt be saved. For with the heart man believeth unto righteousness; and with the mouth confession is made unto salvation. 
- Romans 10:9-10

With this new understanding of how salvation works, I also realized what it meant for my eternal security. And that it is possible to have complete, 100% assurance of my salvation and eternal life. Because, just as it required nothing except belief on what the Lord Jesus Christ had done for me that I might be saved, likewise there is nothing I can do to lose my salvation. Nothing. In the sight of God, it is as my sins did not exist. Because, again, ALL my sins were paid for on the cross. ALL!!!!!! Past, present, future. Name the worst sin you can think of. As a Christian, it is covered by the blood!!!! 

Here on earth, yes, we will often pay the natural consequence of sinning or living wrong, but it does not affect our eternal security.  This is what sets true Christianity apart from every single other religion in the world. Including false "Christian" sects. All other routes depend on works in some way. Works either to get saved, stay saved, earn good karma, maybe a shorter time in purgatory, etc etc. But through the blood of the Lord Jesus Christ alone, "It is finished". 

...Thou hast in love my soul delivered it from the pit of corruption: for thou hast cast all my sins behind thy back.
- Isaiah 38:17 

And I will cleanse them from all their iniquity, whereby they have sinned against me; and I will pardon all their iniquities, whereby they have sinned, and whereby they have transgressed against me.
- Jeremiah 33:8  

 If we confess our sins, he is faithful and just to forgive us our sins, and to cleanse us from all unrighteousness. 
- 1 John 1:9 

In case that isn't enough, God repeatedly promises, throughout the entire Bible, to preserve those who have placed their faith in Him and gained salvation. And "God is not a man that he should lie...hath he said, and shall he not do it?" (Numbers 23:19). This means that even if we have been saved but go through periods of doubt and lose our assurance, it doesn't matter - God will still keep His promise to us, we will not lose our salvation-

For the Lord loveth judgment, and forsaketh not his saints; they are preserved for ever: but the seed of the wicked shall be cut off. 

- Psalm 37:28

Who shall also confirm you unto the end, that ye may be blameless in the day of our Lord Jesus Christ. 

- 1 Corinthians 1:8

Let us draw near with a true heart in full assurance of faith, having our hearts sprinkled from an evil conscience, and our bodies washed with pure water. Let us hold fast the profession of our faith without wavering; (for he is faithful that promised;) 

- Hebrews 10:22-23

If we believe not, yet he abideth faithful: he cannot deny himself. 

- 2 Timothy 2:13

At long last, after discovering these truths for myself, at 18 I finally reached a point of complete conviction that I was saved - eternally. Not being sure if I had actually been saved as a child, I went ahead and made sure by getting on my knees and reaffirming my belief in the Lord Jesus Christ, and submitted myself into His keeping. Unless you have felt it, it is impossible to describe the feeling of relief, freedom, and assurance this conclusion yielded me. And though I have certainly often been weak in faith and doubted in other areas, I have never since lost hold of the conviction that I am forever saved. And thus shall my thanks be ever to my Lord and Saviour, Jesus Christ.

I will sing of the mercies of the Lord for ever: with my mouth 

will I make known thy faithfulness to all generations.

- Psalm 89:1

Have you placed your faith in Him yet?